First blog post

This is my very first blog although I have wanted to do it for a while now. I decided to start the process because I live a very interesting life and I also have a lot to say which is great to ease awkward situations  but sometimes this creates awkward situations because I have no filter 😳.

I’m African; in my culture people say whatever is on their mind, but this isn’t the best way of making or keeping friends in the European culture.

I hope that by having somewhere to write down all my thoughts; I will have a platform where I get time to reflect and process my thoughts for a better and healthy mind.

I’m turning 30 this year and I have achieved more than I ever anticipated. I’m engaged to my childhood sweetheart Will who I share a beautiful daughter Lily with; who is our entire world, we have a lovely family home and we both have successful careers with bright prospects for the future.

Apart from being a size 12 body and my BMI suggesting that I’m slightly overweight, I actually have it all… Right???

Do I really… I constantly ask myself and other people around me waiting for approval.

I’ve always thought I’d have my child hood friends by my side and they are the people who were meant to give me a thumbs up and say well done babe you’ve done it! I look around for them and await their approval.

I broke up with my best friend of 14 years last night after her birthday dinner. No bitter nor sweet words were exchanged but I knew our friendship had come to an end when I couldn’t wait to leave the dinner table and was the first to ask for the bill! I walked away thinking…‘Damn that was the most awkward dinner of my life.’  This time of the year was once the exciting and most fun time ever in the history of our friendshipI had spent the evening watching the table of 4 girls next to us who were also on a birthday night out and were bringing the roof down in laughter.

It came to my attention that I have more fun when I’m surrounded by pleople that I’ve common interests with; such was work colleagues, University friends and school mums .

Having childhood friends is great but at this stage of our lives we have come to have different interests and all we share is  precious memories of the past and secrets that we don’t speak of, in hope that the other person has forgotten.

I broke up with my other best friend who was also a childhood friend 6 months ago when I had moved into my 1st home and she never turned up to our pre-arranged date for her to come and see it for the first time. I have not heard from her since no apology and no explanations.

Just so you know not all is lost I have other friends.

One would be very sad and thinking what have I done wrong to get to this point, but I’m here thinking what have I done right to get to this point??

I am the happiest I’ve been for a very long time I’m turning 30 and am fabulous  😃 xxxx